Dwarf's Penny

… and despite the fact there is nothing to do except hunt or fish, it is a very good time. The town has a great deal of character that is rapidly evaporating, much like the lake is being drained to support the rapid population growth, and the influx of the “I long for the simple life” rich that always succeed in bringing the complexities and overcrowding of the city with them. Despite change, Jefferson has succeeded in maintaining a quaint atmosphere.
My wife and I, prior to the birth of our second son seven years ago, made a biannual pilgrimage to Jefferson. I would read and wander the bayou/river or walk about the lake and my wife would head downtown to antique shop. Being incredibly hot in Jefferson in July, I decided to accompany my wife on one of her explorations in the shops and entertained myself by eating non-stop and people watching. Curious how one could identify the local Negro versus the visiting the manicured quaff and the “smooth as a babies bottom hands” of those of us “Vistin”. We encountered a General Store that was fascinating and I discovered a huge rain barrel of “antique” coins rendered as tender in brothels throughout the Ole West. Now I am a reasonable man and I have my doubts that coin such as these would be minted in such large quantities, and if it were fiscally responsible, the chance they would be in such abundance today. Nevertheless, I did purchase several and carry them about from time to time as a conversation piece.  
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So, another day dies

So; after another successful day, I lay down my head and sleep the sleep of blessed wrapped in the cloak of protection and warmed by the love of Jesus.
Please explain why my uncomplicated life is not full of bliss. Why would someone who has obtained so much, with so little effort, is anything but bathed in Grace? What do I want? I don’t know; now hurry up and give it to me! I don’t want anything for myself. I want my imperfect clones to obtain contentment. I don’t want my youngest stressed and I don’t want my oldest to watch the parade of dreams pass him by. My boys are everything kind and gentle in the world. They are loving, giving and expressive. Caleb is not verbose but he is quick with a cub hug and smile. Johnathan can still tell his father anything, even “I love you” and seeks my advice when it comes to the ladies. Pardon me while I digress…
The enigma that is I struggles with advising my son in regard to the ladies in his life. My perspective is warped by time and experience. My younger self valued the conquest and my middle self played the game with confidence and Skill (If I do say so myself) but my present self has immersed himself in love and flows with the tides. (No, this is not a reference to the menstrual cycle; it is a true Oceanic reference to the ebb and flows, highs and lows, of life.) So, how does one advise his young, fit, good looking son in regard to women? The rules have changed, to the detriment of all, and young ladies are far to willing to surrender control of the one commodity I valued as a youth. Speaking of “My Cousin Vinny”; I disagree with Marisa Tormei as the Oscar award winner for best supporting actress but Fred Gwynne was hilarious. My son faces few challenges and without pressure and heat, coal never becomes a woman’s best friend.

Amtrak Rules!

Why do the American people pay money to maintain Amtrak and yet we do not have a plan in place that utilizes the rail system to evacuate major cities? My wife and older son would take the train from Dallas to Houston and enjoy the trip. Karen was pleased that Johnathan, seven at the time, could be free to roam the car and play with other children and she could comfortably visit with other mothers without the excessive noise and cabin pressure. The last time we visited Reunion Station for her train trip, we were informed it was now a bus trip and the train route from Dallas to Houston was discontinued. We drove to Love Field and I put them on a Southwest flight.
Can you imagine the highways if they had limited the traffic out of the city to passenger vehicles with four or more and buses with sixty percent capacity or greater? Why not? Houston has an excellent mass transit system that could have been mobilized to evacuate the city. The evacuation should be conducted based on zip code and organized by the department of Homeland Security (snicker, snicker). Did the American government divert money from worthy social programs, raise taxes to provide the financing (chuckle, chuckle), or did we simply increase the indebtedness of the government to provide revenue for a department of the government that appears impotent? Voyeurism appears to be the primary objective of the Department of Homeland Security.  Yet, I believe that the people of the Unites States of America can and will repair any broken product or system but I don’t want it repaired; I want it working when I buy it!
Would it be disingenuous if I were to offer John McCain and Barack Obama as the Democratic nominees for president and vice-president? I believe they could win if they were to run as independents for the Autonomy party.  Hmmm, maybe I should offer myself as a consultant? I don’t know anything about politics but it will not matter, I would be a typical consultant. Oil Refineries with a rail system in Arizona, desalinization plants for coastal cities, fewer roads and more trains. . . .
What’s missing?

George Bush is not a racist?

George Bush is not a racist. I statement made without equivocation, doubt or coercion. George Bush, like the rest of us in America, is a classist. He cares for black people as he cares for white people; unfortunately, there are fewer RICH black people. If entertainers properly invest they could easily create a new class of influential black people that still has ties to the “common” man.
Am I the only fan of Family Guy that wonders why George Takei has not been a guest on the show?

And Speaking of Television

And speaking of television…. I greatly sympathize with the displaced people of New Orleans and I regret their loss. I realize that the entire country has expressed a much deeper sympathy by opening their homes and wallets in support; but, I did volunteer to offer my expertise in support of hospitals and pharmacies in “stressed” areas. Those of you who were waiting for the ‘but’ at the end of the second sentence…
If American’s had the will and the resources to provide food, medical care, housing and shelter to so many people in such a short period of time (I realize many people experienced deplorable conditions for a very long time, but bear with me.) why have we tolerated the homelessness and poverty of so many for so long? I wonder why people have opened their hearts and wallets to strangers when they have walked past and ignored the impoverished in their own communities. I hope we can sustain our focus when the storm has passed.
Has anyone noticed that TWO Supreme Court Justices will be appointed by King George II and the Republican congress? And what happened to the showdown in Iraq? Are we still fighting that freedom fighting mission in Iraq? First Baptist Church in Denton has sponsored many victims of Katrina and they have all been Bl…, um, err, highly pigmented? Those that I have had the privilege to speak to, and this isn’t easy for they are more difficult to understand that a Bostonian with a mouth full of bake beans, tell a story more horrific that the Hurricane. Most feel as if they were treated like “Roaches”, tolerated because mass extermination was far too difficult and their needs ignored like Lisa Presley at Never land. “At least we are treated like humans”, declared one rescued unemployed school teacher. Why they were not treated like humans prior to this disaster, or why did they not feel a part of our society, I would like to know? Is the entire country racist?

Little do they know... 

Operation Embarrasment

I can finally start phase two of my plans to seek revenge. I have been waiting patiently for twelve years to begin “Operation Embarrassment”.  For those of you who do not have kids, let the educating begin.
I remember when life was sweet. I was a poor full-time student with a full-time job and a full-time wife. As destitute as a couple could be, without being homeless, I was as happy as a rodeo clown on goat roping day. All of that joy begat another bundle of joy; and this is where the trouble started. When a woman becomes a mother, not a poor excuse for a mother but a full-time worried filled Kodiak bear of motherhood, her sex drive is put on a shelf for “special days”. I realize it is hard to feel sexy covered in spit-up, baby food, cornstarch and the sweet melodies of “Barney” in the background, but you still look awfully good to us guys who love you in spite of, and because of, the sore nipples, bad back, and baby vomit cologne. After weathering the storm of one’s sexual peak and learning to enjoy the little time you have; when you just get back on the same level playing field, your child begins to walk and talk. If you thought Barney was unromantic, wait until the candles are lit, Luther is singing instructions and your wife smells like the sweetest sugar cookie on the planet and just as you brush you lips against hers… “I WANT SOME WATER!” bellows from the sweet ball of innocence in the other room. Every cough, sneeze, whimper, and sigh is tended to by the woman you love while your begging and whimpering gets you a pat on the shoulder and a sympathetic smile. Night terrors were the bane of my existence. I never could stand to hear a baby cry. Not because I was unsympathetic, but I believe when they cry they need you. I believe they call it “Night Terrors” for the parents more so than the child. Our son would scream, and I mean SCREAM, and we would check his body from head to toe looking for a Cobra bite, bear trap, the fire ant mound in his bed and we would find no source of pain and no way to wake him. Dr. Goff’s advice worked like a charm; give him a glass of water and he will wake up and the world is right. The child drifts back to sleep, your wife turns on Luther, and you lay there listening for a sound with a glass of water in your hand. And when all of that passes, the questions begin. “Why were you making noises last night”? “Why can’t I sleep with you”? You begin to feel as if little ears are rating you performances. What score do you get if you’re not making enough noise? And do you fix the squeaking headboard or will that result in further deductions?  And when you finally have everything under control, you conceive another and the fun begins again. When the new addition cries the oldest laughs, “I guess your not getting any tonight”. And with that comment the first bud of “Operation Embarrassment” forms in your mind. As the father of the groom I will gladly pay for the honeymoon… and I will be there, in the adjoining room, with my water glass, questions and score card.

Who is this old man? 

A Black Day?

I have listened to the talking heads and seen the horrible suffering in Louisiana and Mississippi and the floating dead offend me less than the "Black Genocide" conspiracy theorist. Jessie Jackson, representing all black people (I didn't vote for him), criticizing the government for their failed efforts to provide rescue and support to the victims of Hurricane Katrina should have been pleading with black people to keep a cool head, follow the directions of those currently providing guidance and offer support and direction to those soldiers lost in a world free of recognizable landmarks.
A new conspiracy theory "The Man blew up the Dam!" is not a Dr. Seuss story. Citizens are reporting they heard explosions prior to the dams demise? Fires, explosions, freight cars smashing against the shore, automobiles smashing together, and other debris slamming against the levies and buildings collapsing all over New Orleans; any surprise the citizens heard noises that sounded like explosions. What would the world gain from destroying New Orleans?
We, as a black people, have always criticized our pigmentation challenged brethren for loving money more than "us", how can we justify the billions of dollars needed to rebuild New Orleans?
Can we reopen some of the closed military bases to house and employ some of the victims of this storm?
http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/mld/ledgerenquirer/news/nation/12560571.htm
Poor Wolf Blitzer. How dare someone misspeak with the word "black" in the sentence! People need to get over themselves and work out the gruesome details AFTER we have settled the lives of those who have been displaced.
We desperately need Ecologist to volunteer to assist in the repair of the ecosystem in New Orleans. Other nations require ecological engineers to evaluate the effect of man's manipulations of nature. Can Swedes spare an ecologist or two?